My Theory of Beautiful Things- Finding my identity in motherhood

Maybe we don't have to define ourselves in a few neat words. Who we are. What we like. What our hobbies are. Maybe some seasons of life are not meant to be summarized that way.

Maybe, for a while, the answer can be simpler than we think. I love beautiful things... don't we all?

When Identity Feels Hard After Motherhood

As moms, we feel so much pressure to “find ourselves” again after having children. To reclaim an identity. To confidently answer questions like, What are your interests? or What are your hobbies?

Ugh how I dreaded answering that when people asked me.

Those questions can feel paralyzing.

On any other typical day, I would freeze if someone asked me that. Not because I lack interests, but because it is a question I have struggled to answer my entire life, and especially in certain seasons.

Motherhood has a way of breaking you open. Shattering old versions of you quietly, repeatedly.

So when someone asks who you are now, or what you enjoy now, it can feel overwhelming. The pressure to figure it out, to name it, to package it, can feel like too much.

A Softer Answer

One night recently, I found myself sitting on the couch thinking about all of this. I was filling out a podcast application for interview and I paused. A simple phrase came to me.

:Beautiful things."

That was it. That was the answer.

My interests and hobbies are not found in one fixed activity. They are found in moments that feel beautiful.

Beautiful things might be a walk outside. Dancing to music in the kitchen. Creating something with my hands. Or something incredibly small. I may hate cooking, but in the moment when I make a good dinner and my family sits down together to enjoy it, that is a beautiful thing too.

Letting Go of the Box

The box that we put ourselves in when we are trying to work through the pressure of finding our identity after motherhood.

I think we need to shift from boxing ourselves in to opening ourselves up.

We spend so much time trying to define ourselves instead of noticing what already brings us back to ourselves.

For me, that looks like going on nature walks and noticing the birds, the trees, and the quiet around me. Is that my hobby every day? No. Pulling out my paints and creating a beautiful canvas like I used to do on a weekly basis? Probably not going to be consistent for me at this stage of life to do daily... but I love it. And it's beautiful.

Sometimes it is driving while the sky turns a million shades of pink, purple, and blue, and slowing down just enough to notice it.

Sometimes it is my toddler waking up after a long night with messy bedhead, sleepy eyes, and stinky breath, leaning in for a kiss on my cheek.

Those moments matter.

You Are Allowed to Change

I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to have a clear, consistent identity. But we are complex people. Our interests can change as often as the wind does, especially in motherhood.

For this season, my answer is simple.

My interests are beautiful things.

That is where I find myself again.

That is where I reconnect to joy.

It does not have to be one specific hobby. If yours is, that is wonderful. But for many of us, it shifts. It evolves. It breathes.

We are not meant to be boxed into one label or one version of ourselves.

Beautiful Things Are Already Here

The beautiful part is this. Beautiful things are everywhere.

They are tucked into ordinary days. Into routines and messes and quiet moments we almost miss.

You do not have to search for a new identity. You do not have to reinvent yourself.

Sometimes, all you have to do is notice.

Carrying This Into the New Year

As we move into a new year, there is so much noise telling us to become someone new. To set goals, choose a word, define an identity, or finally figure ourselves out.

But maybe this year does not need a reinvention.

Maybe the invitation is softer than that.

Maybe it is simply to notice more.

To loosen the need for labels. To release the pressure to define who we are becoming. To let this season be enough as it is.

If you are stepping into the new year feeling unsure of who you are or what you want, let that be okay. You do not need a perfectly formed answer.

You can carry this one instead.

I am drawn to beautiful things.

Let that guide you into the year ahead. Let it shape how you spend your time, where you rest your attention, and how you measure a good day.

Because when you learn to notice beautiful things, you realize you have not been lost at all.

You have been here the whole time, momma.

With love

Katie

The Mosaic Momma Collective

Ps. download the free toolkit to find more margin in your moments... and subscribe to my mailing list for more inspiration like this <3

. blog: finding identity after motherhood and my theory of beautiful things